This day has been one of exhilaration and reflection, of boredom and seclusion. I have now placed my past behind and committed to look forward on this adventure. This foray into the wilderness is not new to me as I have often taken to travel within the blessed valleys of this realm I have held so dearly. But to experience the solitude outside their protection is unnerving; to face the aspect of relying on no one but yourself. There is no one from which to seek guidance; the advise I rely on shall surely be my own.
The fire before me this first night comforts my shoulders as a blanket held within the winter depths. It is my light, it is my safety, yet it is also my signal-tower to any who are about. My first footstep has now turned to a thousand and I am still within sight of my homeland. The Sirris that beckoned me now shows its shadows below as they throw their weight across the lands and for the first time I may see them from the other side. The sentinels once tall and overpowering from within stand as mere pickets and wither beneath the glory of the night mountains.
My first steps were not hesitant this day as I took to adventure under a clear sky, the light of a new sun glorious upon vistas I have never seen. Yet the first rock began to look just like the next and within hours my footfalls would stumble upon the rubble. One begins to watch his steps, one in front of the other instead of drinking the sights with one's head held high. The journey is attention to where one is heading and not where one is. It was my first lesson learned.
This first night holds me within the palm of its hand and shrouds me within its bosom and I am safe within the confines of the dark Sirris.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Beyond the here and now
I have crossed the boundary that has shielded my life from the outside world, a world at which I may only guess. Too long have I confined myself to the sheltered lands of the Chrystum. I feel the pull to turn and peer across the divide, a glance over my shoulder at what was, my life as I knew it. But I fight the urge. I must look back at some point, hopefully only on reflection of times long past after my journey has taken me away from these valleys. Will that look be one of satisfaction that my journey has fulfilled my lust for adventure, or an admittance of failure and a longing for a comfortable life again?
I have entrusted the care of my past to my cousin Sandy, a bright fellow in whom I have full confidence. Whether I return in a day or in a year my lands and what I hold shall be in good hands. A most stalwart lad I could not have chosen better. He is like me in a way; his eyes look toward the hills and past the trees but he is unable to pull himself from his work, a taskmaster to the last, one married to detail. Alas, it is not within his heart to venture into the unknown. I would surely welcome his company on this fateful journey. Fateful to the last as I can not imagine a scenario where these next steps do not alter my life in a most unimaginable way.
I now behold the majesty of the Sirris, the mountains that have sheltered this land, and protected it from lives unknown. I feel the pull of their song; I feel the mists that hover above their lowland hills yet keep their steeples unknown to my eyes. What shall I find upon these lofty peeks as they bear my first steps into the brave beyond. A second step and a third and I feel the exhilaration of adventure which has eluded my soul.
I shall only look forward, for now.
I have entrusted the care of my past to my cousin Sandy, a bright fellow in whom I have full confidence. Whether I return in a day or in a year my lands and what I hold shall be in good hands. A most stalwart lad I could not have chosen better. He is like me in a way; his eyes look toward the hills and past the trees but he is unable to pull himself from his work, a taskmaster to the last, one married to detail. Alas, it is not within his heart to venture into the unknown. I would surely welcome his company on this fateful journey. Fateful to the last as I can not imagine a scenario where these next steps do not alter my life in a most unimaginable way.
I now behold the majesty of the Sirris, the mountains that have sheltered this land, and protected it from lives unknown. I feel the pull of their song; I feel the mists that hover above their lowland hills yet keep their steeples unknown to my eyes. What shall I find upon these lofty peeks as they bear my first steps into the brave beyond. A second step and a third and I feel the exhilaration of adventure which has eluded my soul.
I shall only look forward, for now.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Last, first step
This journey has been thought-provoking, my day like nothing I have ever experienced. My senses have come alive. I feel the anticipation, the heightened tingling that crawls across my skin. Before me the spires of my prison rise and seem as formidable as an ocean. These sentinels, these bars that hinder my life shall soon give way to the open vistas of my mind.
I leave my possessions in good hands, my neighbors duly charged with the safekeeping of what my life had been, a shadow of what it may become. The fields that have kept me prisoner by their very nature have also sustained me. My neighbors have become my family as I have none to speak of in my current circumstance. Long ago did I abandon the closeness of hearth and home for peacefulness in solitude. Perhaps it is this choice that has conspired with my dreams to lead me to the foothills of the Sirris in the belly of the Middle Valley.
Behind the bars of towering oak and ash lie the peaks of the east, the Sirris Mountains, the curtain that gives way to each dawn I have seen during my life. Yet they have also cast their shadow upon my world as they lay a blanket upon the outside. I strain to see the heights they amass yet within their boundaries I may slide easily between their ranks and slip the bonds that tie me to this valley.
I step forward with mounting anticipation as thick bark and knotted brambles rise up to keep me imprisoned. But I will not be bowed. These towers step away from my advance to keep me held within, their backs to the slides of stone and rock that have tumbled down the mountains, their river adding yet another layer to overcome. My will is to break their hold and spirit my soul away from the wall they form. One by one I pass by them, soldiers all to the end. I extend my hand and brush the craggy surface of a majestic oak. It shall impede my gaze no longer. I suddenly feel the sun break across my face and feel the unhindered breeze wash across my shoulders. My sentinals, my prison melts beneath the light of day from the outside world as I step across its boundary and into a new adventure, an adventure of a lifetime.
I leave my possessions in good hands, my neighbors duly charged with the safekeeping of what my life had been, a shadow of what it may become. The fields that have kept me prisoner by their very nature have also sustained me. My neighbors have become my family as I have none to speak of in my current circumstance. Long ago did I abandon the closeness of hearth and home for peacefulness in solitude. Perhaps it is this choice that has conspired with my dreams to lead me to the foothills of the Sirris in the belly of the Middle Valley.
Behind the bars of towering oak and ash lie the peaks of the east, the Sirris Mountains, the curtain that gives way to each dawn I have seen during my life. Yet they have also cast their shadow upon my world as they lay a blanket upon the outside. I strain to see the heights they amass yet within their boundaries I may slide easily between their ranks and slip the bonds that tie me to this valley.
I step forward with mounting anticipation as thick bark and knotted brambles rise up to keep me imprisoned. But I will not be bowed. These towers step away from my advance to keep me held within, their backs to the slides of stone and rock that have tumbled down the mountains, their river adding yet another layer to overcome. My will is to break their hold and spirit my soul away from the wall they form. One by one I pass by them, soldiers all to the end. I extend my hand and brush the craggy surface of a majestic oak. It shall impede my gaze no longer. I suddenly feel the sun break across my face and feel the unhindered breeze wash across my shoulders. My sentinals, my prison melts beneath the light of day from the outside world as I step across its boundary and into a new adventure, an adventure of a lifetime.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Day dreams
I awake yet again to a new day, the sun slipping its vision beneath my shades. The dreams that haunted my sleep have left their imprint upon my conscious mind. My eyes float about my small bedroom as the night lifts slowly from its cradle. Another day.
The visions held within my dreams fight to see the light of day. Their message is clear; the fences that hold me within the Chrystum can no longer hold my thoughts. I long to see the world outside the fortress mountains that ring my home, my prison, my life. The glow surrounding my window reveals the day's first struggle, the sun's escape from the grasp of the Sirrus Mountains to the east, their peaks no longer holding the light within their passages. It is what I long for, what I now seek each day; passage from this place.
My day continues as each day has for the past several years. The visions once held only within my night dreams now invade my day world. My vision is filled with magical places of sun and water and mountain passages that thread the world with their beauty from times long forgotten. I see vast and bountiful fields of golden yellow and copper petals bowing beneath the gentle breezes that caress my skin. My eyes search for these treasures buried within my world, but to no avail. I am no longer content within its boundaries.
My friends have never wavered with their loyalty through the long years of our lives. Perhaps those bonds will remain unbroken as my time nears to rupture the hold this valley claims upon my soul. My time nears its end within these confines. The sentinels will hold me little longer.
The visions held within my dreams fight to see the light of day. Their message is clear; the fences that hold me within the Chrystum can no longer hold my thoughts. I long to see the world outside the fortress mountains that ring my home, my prison, my life. The glow surrounding my window reveals the day's first struggle, the sun's escape from the grasp of the Sirrus Mountains to the east, their peaks no longer holding the light within their passages. It is what I long for, what I now seek each day; passage from this place.
My day continues as each day has for the past several years. The visions once held only within my night dreams now invade my day world. My vision is filled with magical places of sun and water and mountain passages that thread the world with their beauty from times long forgotten. I see vast and bountiful fields of golden yellow and copper petals bowing beneath the gentle breezes that caress my skin. My eyes search for these treasures buried within my world, but to no avail. I am no longer content within its boundaries.
My friends have never wavered with their loyalty through the long years of our lives. Perhaps those bonds will remain unbroken as my time nears to rupture the hold this valley claims upon my soul. My time nears its end within these confines. The sentinels will hold me little longer.
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